When 5 Years Equals None

Tears, despair yet love, peace --not fair
In front of red curtains, you were alive
No matter how I calculate
It was yesterday but they tell me it was 5

You slipped away. This is the 5th year
But to me it’s not been that long
I hear your sweet voice in my ear
And when I play your song

You tuck me into bed at night
As I lay my head upon your chest
Sweet dreams fill my head’s voided space
In you I wake up feeling blessed

You catch my tears and wipe them away
When they fall upon my cheek
Someone gone for 5 years
Should not still make me weep

I saw you dancing, laughing the other day
Right in front of my eyes
Surely if you knew you were leaving
You would of said good-byes

I thought I heard you call my name
When I walked among your stars
Your life flashed by in pictures
Your songs whizz by from passing cars

People do your moves but not like you
They give you flowers and say you’re gone
I’ve always said you were a gift from God
A messenger, a virtuoso, the dew in the morn’

Now happy times and thoughts fill my heart
Your pleasant laugh, your sparkle, your humor
Your genius, your dance, your style
To say you’re not on this earth? It must be a rumor

Time is timeless. A measure for things for this earth
We are always keeping track of items, from death to birth
I can’t fathom this; measuring how long you've been gone
In… out, right… wrong, here now, leaving me all alone

Five years? No, don’t say it
Your footprint upon this earth is still fresh
I still hear you sigh. I still hear your finger snaps
I still feel your spirit and mine intermeshed

Like brides in anticipation, we lit our wicks
When we heard you proclaim, “This is it”
But your voice and ours cannot be heard together any more
It all changed; but our beacon remains lit

Because 5 years is not enough time
To separate me from what’s in my heart
Our love, our spiritual love
It will never part

Yet it seems so unfair to have despair
When in front of those red curtains, you were alive
No matter how I calculate
It was yesterday wasn’t it? But they tell me it was 5

© 2014 Mari

I got up this morning feeling a little sad, thinking about all this mess of how AEG contributed to Michael's death... and how Sony might have contributed to Michael's death... and how Murray just let him die like that... and how MJ himself even contributed... and it came to me that all this stuff really doesn't matter except to us here in the physical world cause on this earth somebody has to pay, somebody has to be blamed. I know God just removed him from all this... from all the pain and all the stress. It was never meant for him to even perform this concert. I mean think about it... This is It. Who names their final show This Is It? Even if this is their final show, what artist would name it This is it? He even looked into doing some Vegas and doing some movies, so this wasn't really IT. I know he was probably thinking or so he thought he was thinking... this will be the last show or 'tour' type show I will do and it WAS but not like he thought it would be. But God knew and he put it in his mind for him to name it that. And think of the name This Is It. It almost reminds me of when Jesus said "It is finished" after he was beat up and then crucified on the cross. And according to the Bible, what was Jesus sent here to do? The short version is... to save the world. MJ was beat up and crucified in this life. And all he wanted to do was bring us LOVE and make us aware through his craft. I was reading some of his Ebony interview yesterday and when they asked him about how does he communicate his compansion and his message to the world he said, " I try to write, put it in a song. Put it in a dance. Put it in my art to teach the world. If politicians can't do it, I want to do it. We have to do it. Artist, put it in paintings. Poets, put it in poems, novels. That's what we have to do. And I think it's important to save the world." Sounds similar to his chorus on We've Already Had Enough, doesn't it? MJ really wanted to save the world.

I get a tad bit uncomfortable and I'm not comparing MJ and Jesus like they are equal, cause I don't even believe that but every time I think about all the shit MJ went thru, God keeps turning my mind toward things that happened to Jesus and I can't help it. MJ said, "...I'm not calling myself Jesus because I would never even look at myself on the same level, but I'm comparing it (his pressures and stress) to Jesus because what God gave to him was for a reason..."

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

My husband/ex-husband came over today and saw a couple of Michael Jackson mags I had laying around and asked me, "Michael Jackson? You still like him? I thought you'd be through with him by now." ARE YOU FUKIN' KIDDING ME? Is he serious? I just looked at him like 'what are u talking about'? That has to fall under the catagory and be added to the list of 'All Time Stupid Things' he has said. Uh... it's not Michael Jackson I'm through with, it's you!